A Bad Joke for a Friday

      

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It's snowing here again!!!!!!!!

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Comments

I think its funny!
Here's the chemist's recipe for chocolate chip cookies:

Ingredients:

1...... 532.35 cm3 gluten
2...... 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3...... 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4...... 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5...... 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6...... 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7...... 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8...... Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avain albumen-coated protein
9...... 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.... 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat-transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr add one, two, and three with constant agitation.
In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm add four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.
To reactor #2 add eight followed by three equal portions of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add nine and ten slowly with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25 oC heat-transfer table allowing the product to come to equilibrium.