The New Reality

Ha, ha.  Ha. 

I am struggling mightily to think kind thoughts about my fellow Americans, the Bush voters.  I'm realizing that I need to actually start talking to them if we have any hope of ever winning another election.  That's Democrats in general, not even lefties like myself. 

So in the spirit of saving us all from fascism, I'm thinking of coming out to my Ohio redneck family, even though I am not, in point of fact, a homosexual.  They already think I'm bizarre, but they love me and think I'm smart and surely they would want me to experience the sanctity of marriage (in fact, I know they do, because they mention it on an increasingly frequent basis.)  It would mean that I couldn't bring any boyfriends home, but that's OK because I don't have one!  And even when I do, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to get out of my sojourns to my red family in their red county in a red state. 

Oh, Ohio.  I'm so disappointed in you.  Though I did hear an encouraging rumor that one of my uncles may have broken for Kerry.  Not the greedy thieving psycho uncle, the other one.  Like that clarification needs to be made.

And in the spirit of re-framing the message and using language to our advantage, I propose that we reclaim the word "mandate".  Every time the Bushies say they have one, giggle and elbow the person next to you coo, "Oooh, Karl has a man-date.  I wonder if he's cute?"  If it's Condoleezza who says it, just roll your eyes and harrumph because you know she doesn't have one.

Comments

[StepMonster]

We'll love you even if you are a homo. Maybe even more- you know how we love our homos!