I have what could charitably be called an uneasy relationship with money. I like it, it hates me. I'd do anything for it, it would prefer to spend its time with other people. It's never there when I need it, and whose fault is that, missy? Blah blah blah blah debt.
So you'd think that gambling wouldn't be the sanest hobby for a person like me, and you'd be right. One of the many sad components of my money blues is the belief that they will magically disappear one day, through no doing of my own. Ed McMahon is probably not going to knock on my door with $124 million, but someone, metaphorically, will come calling with at least ten large here pretty soon. Ten thousand dollars! Donald Trump wipes with that. But for me it would be....heaven. Also, non-taxable as a gift, in case you were wondering.
So, I went to Atlantic City for my birthday believeing absolutely that I would win at least ten thousand dollars. I could feel it in my bones. What a lovely birthday present, a Get Out of Debt Free card! (See the Monopoly reference? Did you know the original Monopoly streets are modeled on AC?) Sure, I made myself a budget and only took cash I could afford to lose (cue me laughing painfully), but it was all for show. I wondered whether or not winning ten Gs was enough to get me and my girls a comped suite, and decided that it probably was.
Did I Win?
Did I?
Does the universe respond to fervent prayers and reward the deserving, coming in with a little something extra in your hour of psychic and material need?
No, no, and no.
But Jennifer Lopez' mother can put three bucks in a slot machine and walk away with $2.4 million dollars. Does that seem AT ALL fair?
So here's what I did. I won $200 in about five minutes playing slots at the Taj, but then my posse was hungry so we left. Later, at Bally's, I lost it all. Everything. I never played anything BUT slots because I knew there was no way I could win ten thousand dollars playing $15 a hand blackjack. Even though I love blackjack. No, it had to be a jackpot for me. (This amplifies an essential difference between me and my sister, who played craps all night, betting sensibly and cautiously, and walked out nearly even.)
And the moral of the story is, I suck. When I say I felt it in my bones, I mean I really knew, beyond a doubt, that I would hear that blessed ding ding ding ding any minute. Sometimes, I closed my eyes before I pushed the button so the joy would be that much more keen ehen I opened my eyes to see my winning combination. But no. Nada. Bupkes.
So here's where I'm supposed to say that I've learned my lesson and that gambling is not for me. That the odds are stacked against me, and that I'm sure Guadalupe Lopez is a very nice woman who will put her $2.4 million to good use, and that her winning it so conspicuously was definitely not a stunt to draw attention to a new casino. La la la la la la .....
since i last saw pop up video with emieem stand up guy by the way to bad mouth a man a say he wants to run up in the presidency take over .. well i boycot since iwas like twelve he comes out on stage with 200,000 .... and donalld trump to donate a pop up house like hes going to contract the two week process of laboreing .... then donald goes off and out to basket robins and makes the counter help head huancho of sales repesentities ..... let me counsulate with my elders of a word of the wise ..... uno secound .... uuhh uuhh nooooo keep your penny candy and that little bun buddy whats his name richard summin november thanksgiving day in memerance of ones past ... i watched and viewed natuaral disaters take place even saw family come onto television named john brennan the main man ....!!!.... then went off to celebrate labor day week end.Torealize it takes balls no i in team effort were eminem stand up guy by the way and says i donate a pop house ...... i went out on a mission to pplay hid and seek and you will find even if it meant putting my life online for intergrated !got that there sport ....i thought it was really a wet dream wake up to signing paper work nightly conversation with god knows who.know guadulaupe lopez heard from a friend .... named danial neptune from indian island ..... then wake up to find a man in srubbs standing ther wanting observe the inside of my penis plus on top of that .....awaike to look out down upon the ocean to see a boat down below me as i fly over the atlantic to euroman ... it all started way back i was standing behind a man in cloak a dog kept grabing at my pantaliones so i help him out of the water he fell again finally i walked into a house were the man stopped and looked up a stair case to realise i was looking at a jesus impersonation wow uh .... did it really happen i dont give a flying fuck your the last mesiah as of 2001 i walked the streets till 2003 and finally went back to school too have my nana look down upon meand say i came from your family madeliene mulvey
Posted by: lazeeboi | March 14, 2006 at 04:26 PM