I've never had any fear of flying. Well, I am sometimes afraid that my eardrums will burst, but I'm never afraid that the plane will crash and I'll die a fiery, unpleasant death. I never pay attention during the safety drill, because I just know that I'll never get to use that cool inflatable slide. Even turbulence doesn't bother me; truth be told, I think it's kind of fun, like a roller coaster. It makes my tummy feel funny, in a good way.
I DO worry that my nearest and dearest might die in a plane crash, but that is a purely selfish worry that I have whenever my loved ones are traveling together, without me. My mom and sister have flown together (sans moi) several times, and I'm always nervous until they touch down, unharmed. But, to be perfectly candid, that's really because I'm worried about what would happen to ME if something happened to them. To make a dramatic understatement, it would not be pretty. I'd be happy if they never even drove together.
But for me, flying is stress-free. I get some good reading done up there. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to adjust to airline travel again after yesterday, when I got to fly in a private jet. It was amazing; so much more comfortable than commercial travel, and I never had to wait in one line. The only possible, teeny tiny drawback is that when someone is flying you in their personal jet as a favor, it's politic to look interested and engaged at all times, which pretty much precludes burying your nose in a book. Still, even a dedicated bookworm like me can see that it's a small price to pay for leather seating and tons of legroom. Sweet, sweet legroom.
In other travel news, I got hella lost last night on the stupid, horrible Beltway. I joke about not seeing the point of traveling beyond it, but after last night I'm quite serious. What should have been a one hour trip ended up taking me three times as long because I missed my exit. I could have gotten off somewhere else, like Tyson's Corner or Manassas, but who knows where I'd be right now if I'd done that? Besides, I have a sort of phobia of Virginia. Everyone there votes Republican and has guns. I'll go to Target out there, but I try to stick to the major roads and be out by dark.
I'm a very patient driver, and I'm not afraid to get lost. In fact, I think unplanned detours are mostly fun. But being stuck in the middle of 5 lanes of traffic at rush hour is an experience I hope never to repeat. I'm yearning to compare it to one of the rings of hell, but the metaphor breaks down when I consider that the beltway is an actual ring around DC, so comparing it to a circle of hell would sort of imply that DC is hellish, and I'm so pathetically grateful to be back on the grid that I'm just not going to go there.
Two lessons here; One, I need a private jet. I refer you yet again to the idea that I wasn't meant to live in my current, penurious circumstances. Two, don't ever go on Spout Run Parkway. It doesn't go anywhere and there are no lights.
(Also, please note the implication that I've never driven on the Beltway before, despite the fact that I've lived in DC for eleven years. Your eyes do not deceive you. It's true.)
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