I love DC. I like the size, and the neighborhoods, and the political obsession. What I could live without is the weather. Even though it's moch more temperate than my native Ohio, it's still too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer for a delicate flower like myself.
When I say it's too hot in the summer, I don't mean that it's "warm" in the way that invokes visions of a cooling glass of lemonade and a porch swing. I mean unbearably, searingly hot, and revoltingly, disgustingly humid, in a way that invokes visions of heat rash and inhalers. I sleep with two fans as close to me as possible. No covers. A minimum of two showers a day. I typically open the freezer and stand with my head in it for a good 10 minutes every day after work from June through September. And I can't stop myself from bitching, constantly. It's sheer misery.
To add to the fun this summer, DC will be featuring a Biblical plague. Not the frogs and locusts that our corrupt rulers deserve, but millions of flying, crunchy insects instead. Big, ugly ones that go by the horror-inducing name of Brood X. Now, doesn't "BROOD X: THE CICADAS" sound like a bad b-film? Tara Reid instead of Tippi Hedren?
According to my research, the Brood X cicadas, which emerge from their repulsive little underground burrows every 17 years, are big and dumb and loud. They tend to fly right into people. And--here comes the part that keeps me up at night--they MAY BECOME ENTANGLED IN YOUR HAIR. Bird-sized, reddish-black, googly-eyed, loud, crunchy insects may become entrapped in my hair this summer. People, let me assure you that I do not have tha spare mental energy to deal with that when it's100 degrees with 100% humidity for weeks at a time. I may very well die.
I'm saving up my rant about how my roommate won't let me use the air-conditioning because she "likes fresh air". As if this effing swamp ever gets any of that in the summer.
yup, the summers here are horrible. nice to know there are others that use the after work head in freezer trick!
Posted by: | March 25, 2004 at 02:19 PM
you are way to obsessed with this potential bug plague. be a real washingtonian and worry about some sort of benign policy issue that nobody else on earth understands.
Posted by: | March 25, 2004 at 10:16 PM
I grew up in D.C. Now I live in Baltimore (marginally more bearable in summer) and I can testify: It's like swimming in dog breath.
Posted by: molly | March 29, 2004 at 12:47 PM