Behold...

...a thing of beauty:

It's my new mp3 player!  Only mine tells me things in English!

What?  It's not an iPod?

Well, no.  It's also the third mp2 playing device I've purchased.  It was going to be an iPod, but Best Buy had no iPods and I'm pretty sure at this moment that my sanity cannot survive another trip to Best Buy, Home of Employed Social Misfits.

Here's how it all went down.

Last Wednesday, I reached my donations goal of $247.50.  Well, that's how much I had (amazing, and I thank you all sincerely) and I decided I couldn't wait any longer.  So I dropped el nino at daycare and headed off to the big box store.  Once there, I spent quite a bit of time weighing my options with the incredibly unhelpful, sullen, and possibly drunk Marisa.  I had totally planned to get an iPod, the 20 GB one, but once there I was overwhelmed by my choices.  I kept asking to see the different players, and Marisa kept heaving huge sighs and bending over like she had a 300 pound man on her back to get them.  Finally, after much nail-biting and many phone calls to my sister so she could Google specs, I selected the 20GB iPod, priced at $299.99. 

I had originally had my heart set on just an iPod mini, but then I was all, why shouldn't I get 14 more gigs of memory for only 50 more dollars?  And THEN, once I'd convinced myself of that, I was all, why shouldn't I get one of the new 30GB color models, so I can upload 25,000 pictures ad view them at the touch of a button?  Yeah, yeah, that's what I should do!  So I felt positively virtuous when I decided to settle for the 20GB model.

Please note that I do not have a digital camera, and also no job, so no plans to acquire one any time soon.

Let's take a moment to think about how pretty the iPod is, even down to  the box it comes in.

         

My hands trembled a little when I finally touched it, out of excitement, yes, but also an overwhelming urge to slap Marisa.

Then, with tax and the replacement plan and everything, the total came to $380.

I was about a half a mile down the road when the nausea became really fierce and I turned around.

I have some money problems, people.  My therapist says that money problems like mine are typical of a person whose inner child is in pain.  My inner child is in AGONY, and I love to spend money.  And as much as I love to spend it, I hate being poor ten times more.  I have full-on panic attacks when my account starts to dry up.  Which is often.  Consider this:  I'm about to be thirty, and I have never had a savings account.  I can't get a credit card, even those Capitol One jobbies they give to third graders now.  I mean, I have Issues.  Ask me how many times my phones have been turned off for nonpayment.  Or if I've ever, say, defaulted on a student loan.  Or if I owe my library anything in the three figure range.  Blockbuster?  I scoff.

So, as a jobless person who is about to spend a much-anticipated week on vacation, I returned my beautiful iPod and bough a much less beautiful Nomad.

 

Doesn't it look comparable?  I was so proud of myself for making a responsible decision.  Its price, including tax and the replacement plan, was exactly what you gave me, internet.  Like, to the penny.   I was a little sad that it's the size of a TV remote and as heavy as a sack of flour.  But with 30 GBs of memory!  And the carrying case included! 

We spent a beautiful hour together, listening to Nas and Lorenna McKinnit, and them the piece of shit stopped working.

So today, I returned it and I was going to just get an iPod so I could be one of the cool kids and have tech support from all my friends and buy accessories, like the little iPod hoodie that I want more than world peace practically.  But they were out of iPods.  No re-stocking date in sight.  It felt like a sign, and since Costa Rica waits for no woman, Marisa and I came to a silent agreement that I should take the Rio and just get over myself.  It's shiny.  It has a wheel.  It costs the same.  And who am I kidding that I need 20 or 30 gigs of music storage

I'm waiting for it to charge up right now.  It's very silver and shiny, but not ostentatious.   I may be tempting fate by writing this entry before its actually demonstrated its functionality to me, but I have a good feeling.  Even though I did snag my sweater--OK, and cut my hand--on the stupid blister pack it came in.

But the blister pack is gone, and Rio and I are together, and that's all that matters.

Thank you, internet.

Comments

[Theresa]

awww. he's so cute. what's his name?

[Robert]

Hooray. It's not an iPod, but that doesn't matter. If it works and it allows you to portably listen to music when you want, then it is perfect.

And at least I'm not the only one who has had difficulties with my hunt for an MP3 player...