Tomorrow, it will be one week since I've had a cigarette.
It's like saying goodbye to an old friend. Or being abandoned by your best friend. Or something.
On the way home from lunch the other day, I allowed the eensiest but of self pity to come out and said aloud for the first time, I really want a cigarette. I teared up just a little. My cousins were politely solicitous; they don't have any unseemly addictions. But in general I'm OK. Except when I talk about it or think about it, like right now. I haven't ventured out of the house yet on my own because I'm afraid I'll pass a gas station and fall on the cigarette display like a pack of ravening wolves. That's OK, because I shouldn't be wandering around places where money could be spent either.
Kids, don't start smoking.
It's a powerful addiction. I hear.
In other news.. goo. Goo goo ga ga. Good boy! What a handsome guy! Show mommy how you can lift your head aaaalll by yourself!
Oh sorry...what was I saying? Taking care of a small baby is hard. I've done it before, when I was a teenager, and it seemed easier then somehow. I'm seriously re-thinking my plans to become a single mother in the next few years. Even if I did have endless reserves of patience and no need for sleep or sustenance, the baby really likes it when a new set of arms takes over, even if they're doing the exact same thing. I'm telling you this so I can read it again myself when the ticking of my biological clock starts keeping me up at night.
A partial list of things I am procrastinating, even though I have six free hours a day: (Note to family members: use this info against me and I will make this blog password protected and deny you the password. Don't tempt me.)
1. Getting health insurance: partly because I can't afford it and partly because it sounds hard. I already filled out the paperwork once and left it in my trunk.
2. Getting a job: don't want one.
3. Writing restaurant reviews: I keep forgetting to bring my notes up to the computer. Also, I am so lazy that I should really be dead.
4. Showering: Again, my clothes are on the wrong floor of the house.
Why would anyone read this blog? I am so annoying I can't even look in the mirror lately.
I'm going to take a nap.