I hesitate to post about my weekend plans, because I don't want to make you all sad and sick with envy on this rainy, craptacular Friday, but I do have eminent domain here. So.
Friday: Project SURVIVE
-Drive across town to drop Bree off at the bar and then back across town--in the rain--to pick the dog up
-Prepare and consume weird, non-harmonious dinner comprised of boxed, processed items high in sodium
-Enjoy access to STARZ channel, free this weekend to DirecTV customers
-Alternately, watch Ever After starring Drew Barrymore
Saturday: Project MOUSE
-Clear and scrub all areas of home thought to providing succor to mice or sheltering mice droppings. Avoidance is not an option. Rubber gloves are a must. Will remember to stomp feet and clap frequently. If a mouse is spotted, will not scream. Likewise, won't stand too close to Bree in case she sees one. At the restaurant, she once pushed the owner, an elderly, frail bitch, in an effort to retreat from the scene of a suspected rodent sighting.
-Beseech exterminator guy to figure out how they're getting in so I can block the hole, oh please for the love of God we need to stop them, the new ones are small and I lie awake at night, sure that I hear them BREEDING somewhere.
-Shower repeatedly in an effort to avoid contracting hanta virus
-If kitchen is clear, make zucchini bread
-Argue with Bree about whether or not to go out until one of us angrily capitulates
Sunday: Project NESTING
-Go to farmer's market
-Go to Starbucks
-Make soup if it's rainy, grill out if not
See, my life is HOT. Glitzy, jam-packed, exciting. Don't hate the playa, baby, hate the game.