I was just thinking about whether or not I want a Vespa. That's because, after ten years of having no car at all and resigning myself to the fact that I had forgotten how to drive 9and become afraid of it, frankly) I have acquired two cars in the last year. They are both maroon and from 1993. I loved them unreservedly for a while, and would chortle with glee upon catching sight of one on the Safeway parking lot. My car! About to be filled with heavy items, withoutb a care! (I used to have to limit the heavy things I bought, for transportation purposes.) One of my cars even had automatic windows, a heretofore unknown luxury in a Cara-owned automobile. One of them is a Toyota wih only 10,000 miles on it. I could send my hypothetical future children to college in that baby.
But now I hate them both. I want a car with four doors. I want a car that I can sit all the way up in, and still have room above my head. I want a car that has enough room between the front seats that my sister and I don't have to fight over the armrest.
I desperately, madly want a car that is not maroon.
But I'm not getting any of that. The Toyota will outlive me. Unless I kill it in a stone cold rage borne of trying to get in and out of it in a bulky winter coat at some point in January. Seriously, it's the size of a can of tuna. Great for city parking, but for my ass...not so much. Also, it has the most moronically engineered seatbelt of all time. One lap belt that goes across and buckles on the left, and pone separate shoulder belt that comes across FROM the left and buckles in an unreachable are just over my right ear. Oh, how I hate the seat belt. And the window roller thingy, which cuts into my leg.
So, I was daydreaming about how cute and free I'd be with a scooter. A red one, naturally. And I was reminded of the fact that my old landlord, KC "I have a tacklebox full of unlabeled narcotics here, if you'd like one" McCrazyhead, once explained to me a convoluted (and still unrealized) plan to open up a scooter boutique in an area of the building that was being used only to breed mice. I immediately said, "If you open it, you have to name it SCOOTIQUE." It's the best name for scooter store EVER, and I totally have dibs.
I just needed to put that out there, for posterity.